Ask DeAnn: Are There Sex Trends?

This sounds weird, but are there “trends” in sex?! And/or sex toys? I mean, ya know…I want to stay on top of things…so to speak. Geesh, I just need to stop talking. LOL

– Trend-a

Trenda,

When you open up just about any “health” magazine website or women’s magazine, you’re likely to spot at least one article claiming the definitive list of trends in (usually heterosexual) sex for the year. Sexology is also a scientific discipline, with both experimental and qualitative research on the topic. Here are some things I’ve skimmed from both types of sex trends (it’s not an exhaustive list, just a sampling):

  • Fifty Shades changed everything. Like it or not, the book series got people, especially women, talking about sex, and inspired new ways to play. Light BDSM play is still very much in, as is talking about sex with partners.
  • Consent culture is catching on. When we talk about sex, we’re learning to ask, “Can I kiss you?” “Do you like that?” It’s still a work in progress, but more colleges and universities are willing to talk about consent.
  • More people are using sex toys than ever, and most people who use them do so with a partner. As we’ve become more educated about the clitoris, it’s understood now that having a sex toy in the bedroom is no reflection on inadequacies for either partner.
  • Crowdfunding sex toys has become a thing.  An inventor with a new design puts more heart and soul into their work than a big corporation that outsources. Examples of crowdfunded projects include the Minna Limon, Ola, and kGoal; and the RevelBody SOL.
  • Sex toys are more effective, quieter, and green. Today’s sex toys are powerful, designed to fit the body; provide heat, light, and innovative motion to enhance orgasm; and are rechargeable, which is better for the environment.
  • Sex blogs are in right now. As people have less time to read books, sex blogs are a way to get snippets of sex education they didn’t receive in their youth, get reviews on sex toys, or sample erotica for free. You can find a list of bloggers, many of whom are friends of mine, at Kinkly. You can also subscribe to #allthepassion so you can get posts in your inbox you can read at your convenience, and follow me on Twitter or Facebook, where I share tons of articles & posts.
  • More straight men are learning about the prostate. The prostate is the male G-spot, and can give a man an orgasm without penile stimulation. As a result, more men are buying prostate toys, and pegging (a woman donning a strap-on to penetrate her male partner) is more common.
  • Anal sex in general has become a more accepted practice. This may be driven by the fact it’s a trend in porn, but there are lots of pleasure nerve endings in the back door. Analingus, in particular, is experiencing a renaissance in pop culture, but is still pretty taboo.
  • Oral sex is a standard practice now. Unfortunately, more teenagers are not considering this a sexual act, and as a result of not using condoms or dental dams, rates of oral STI’s are rising. The most recent statistics show about half of all teens 15-19 have engaged in oral sex.
  • Sex Coaching is a really hot field right now. The academics become more refined, and people become more open to turning to a pro to learn new techniques, get help with common issues, and help you develop healthy attitudes around sex and your body. Sex counseling and therapy is on the rise, too, for deeper issues and dysfunctions.
  • Sex toy parties are more popular than ever. It’s one of the best ways to check products out before you buy them, get advice on what will work best for you, and when you host one, you often get free products and discounts.
  • Quality lube is rising in popularity. As people learn there’s no shame in using a lube, picking one up has become no big deal. More people than ever are lube connoisseurs, finding drug store lube tends to cause problems vaginally and just isn’t fun to use.
  • Enhancers and arousal products are more popular, too. Arousal and sensation enhancement products are innovative topical products that add a little kick to your orgasm.
  • People today are happier with their sex lives. That’s data from Lelo’s Global Sex Survey. With better access to sexual health information, freedom to love who you’re attracted to, and the freedom to talk about it growing, it’s no wonder people are becoming more satisfied.

As cultures change and technology gets more innovative, and with more research and dissemination of sexual health information, sex trends will keep evolving.

Sex in the City stars walk down the street

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